The Club Commandments

This is just a very very random post that I thought of, if ever you find this post offensive then you're probably doing these no nos. 

No, this post does not make me the person who tells the universe what's cool and what's not, these are just some things that I've observed during my night outs. 

No, I'm not writing this  to make fun of people, ang douche nun dude.

So here are some of the things that made my list of "WHAT NOT TO DO IN A CLUB"






1. Don't force yourself to speak in a language you're not comfortable with.

I think number one's pretty obvious. Come on, you don't have to speak in English just for you to approach a girl, sometimes the ladies might even find it more attractive if you have the confidence to speak in your native tongue, rather than forcing yourself to speak in a fucking alien language. "Hi miss, pwedeng makipagkilala?" is better than "Hi miss, can I meet you?" which will be an instant entry on your list of most embarrassing moment. 

Well if you're comfortable in speaking let's say in English and the girl you want to approach is Marian Rivera-like then don't be a douche and stop speaking in fucking English, dude. Well my main point is, if you are one confident enough lad, you can reel in a chick in whatever language you're using. Unless of course she's like Norwegian or Zimbabwean or she's a narwhal.

  


2. Don't wear a floral shirt (random)



If you want to be the laughing stock of the whole club, well be my freaking guest. If you want the people to be screaming "Mabuhay ang Maynila" then feel free to walk in a bar in that awesome awesome awesoooome shirt. Of course there's an exception like Luau or Hawaiian themed parties, but if you think that you're gonna go party hard and get laid wearing that shirt HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

But of course there are exceptions! If they are worn by these people

Derek Ramsay

Val Sotto

Babalu

AND THE AWESOME KUYA GERMS! 

3. Do not blackout

Unless you want your friends to curse your future wife and kids, don't be a hard core "party animal", I'm not saying don't get drunk! Be the life of the party drunk, the fun drunk, don't be the douchebag who pukes on your buddy's nice clothes and creates this fucking mayhem inside the club drunk. Control your alcohol intake, son. You might even puke on a girl you're trying to hit on, instant rejection coming right up!


4. Do not wear white shoes


This is a brother's advice, if you're planning to wear a pair of brand new white kicks, you gotta think it over man. Unless of course you're filthy rich and you'll only wear the pair once then you can effin' wear white kicks bro!

Think of all the people who's gonna step on your new shoes, and besides its fucking dark in there man, people will hardly notice your new babies in a jam packed club.

5. Don't get your designated driver drunk

This one's a no brainer, unless you wanna gamble with death or you wanna have a sleep over on the VIP couches, always have someone be sober enough to drive you guys home. 

Note: If you happen to be a kangaroo, then you're perfectly safe to drive people home.

6. MDAS's just lame nowadays

If you don't have any idea what MDAS stands for, its multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction, and believe it or not, they are dance moves! Don't get me wrong, I'm no dancer, but if nobody's laughing at what you're doing, might as well cut it off and stick with the fist pump like everybody else, but if you know how to levitate, do that!!!! Yes, you will scare the shit out of everyone but you'll be be the center of attention for a good couple of seconds!

LIKE DHALSIM! FYEAH!

7. Don't be a munchie

People nowadays call them "kung fu" or "kung fumulutan". You guys order food to accompany the drinks not to have it as dinner, so before going to the club make sure to load up, but not that much or you won't be able to drink that much, you don't want to be puking after 5 bottles of beer don't you? Pig out as much as you want if you're a Snorlax, but you're not one are you?

8. Party with no moolah

Even though its a birthday party, even though your friends are telling you that its on them, bring cash. You'll never know when you might need to pay for something important, like cab fare because your friend blacked out or got lost, so bring cash!

9. Don't be a sourpuss!

You and your friends went out to have a blast. If you're asking people to go home at 1 a.m, then might as well go home by yourself. Why agree on a nightout if you're gonna leave after 30 minutes. Unless you wanna ruin your friends' night and you wanna piss them off so bad, then don't be like this. You're gonna be "hassle sa muscle" sure na sure, so wag maging maalat!

10. Screaming out "I'm fucking drunk" is not cool

Especially when everybody's aware that you had one bottle of beer or one shot of vodka, you-are-not-drunk man! Maybe you just watch to much American Pie movies or have a life long dream to be branded as a cool guy for admitting to every single soul in that room that you're wasted. Instead for screaming this very very cool beans statement, if you're really really bummed out already, tell one of your friends and stop drinking immediately, if you think you've sobered up and you can drink again, then go on and get wasted young lad!

11. Never leave your i.d

Everything's all set, and this rectangular piece of plastic can ruin your night of booze and boobies. So never leave your i.ds at home, unless you wanna line up for an hour or two and pay like 500 bucks.

So there you go, things you must not do in a club. Unless you want to commit social suicide. Again, I am not saying that I am cool or I'm the epitome of a hardcore party boy, I am just a mere observant in world that comes alive when the clock strikes 12. 

*Fist bump*

One Shot For The Road: My Cookie Mug Experience

Looking for something different? Something that won't give you a massive hangover the next morning? Why not have a shot of milk in a cookie?


Wait, what?



Ladies and gentlemen, I give you........

             


*cue woaaaaaaaah*


 

Situated in the foodie paradise street of Lilac in Marikina. A spot ideal for a quick chat or a good catching up with a friend.

Cookie Mug offers frappes, flavored teas, and other cafe staples. They also serve freshly baked pastries made in-house like cupcakes, brownies and cakes.

  

They offer the mugs either as is (small is at Php 48, medium at Php 78 and the large one at Php 108), served with a pot of  fresh milk (Php 68 for small, Php 108 for medium and Php 138 for large) or with chocolate, mocha or caramel (Php 78 for small, Php 118 for medium and Php 148 for large)*wipes drool*

 

          

 Bit, my best bud and co-contributor for this blog and I decided to get  the small mugs and one dessert each.

When our order arrived, we stopped ourselves from laughing upon seeing the pots containing the milk and chocolate drink.

"Pare, tea party vibes ata tayo ah"

Aside from the cookie, I ordered their chewy brownie(Php 32) that screams gooeyness and richness at the top of its chocolate filled lungs. Bit ordered a coffee cupcake(around Php 40) with mocha frosting, a great choice for his chocolate drink.

After the usual "pre-meal photo op", we filled our super cool containers with our choice of drink and toasted for no apparent reason.

           

Heads up on people who are wearing braces though!!!

I took a bite off the brownies and chased it down with a swig of cold milk...oh maaaaaaan. H-E-A-V-E-N. Chewy and just overflowing with chocolatey goodness, even Koko and that weird Asian guy from the Koko Krunch commercial would love that brownie to death.

The coffee cupcake that Bit ordered though was a flop. The mocha frosting was a tad too sweet for our palate. Unless you really really really have a solid sweet tooth, then you'll surely enjoy that treat. How sweet was it, you ask? Let's just say its way way  sweeter than Jennifer Lawrence's smile.......OKAY FOCUS, FOCUS.

 

 

So after pigging out at nearby restaurants at the strip, why not have one shot for the road? One cookie shot, that is.

Rating: Steads naman siya for HOHOL, just don't bring your parents, baka ma-BV lang.

Cookie Mug
116 Lilac St., SSS Village

Concepcion Dos, Marikina City, Metro Manila

Up The Mountains I Go

Amidst the horse back riding, the photo ops with dozens of St. Bernard, countless vendors of strawberry taho and vendors grilling either corn on the cob or sun-dried squid, Baguio is probably one of my favorite cities to visit.
 

The whiff of a distinct pine smell which is present in most parts of the city, plus the sensation of breathing in the crisp Baguio air just brings back good memories of trips made with either friends or family.

I skipped the usual tourist stops and other alatski stuff first-timers do and opted for a quick, but extremely satisfying Baguio food trip instead. 

I needed inspiration for a menu that I am creating and I know that Baguio is starting to become a haven for chefs and foodies alike, why not hit two birds with one stone?

Since I only had a day to experience what Baguio has to offer, I messaged some of my good friends who are certified foodies. Some even lived in Baguio for a while, so I was positive that they know where the good spots are. Hi Mij! Hehehehe

Fresh, organic, fresh, local, fresh and foodgasmic. These are the elements of the food I'm expecting to devour in the next few hours. 

FT BROOOOOOOOO

I decided to start my journey (journey siya eh) at Session Road. 

As I was walking along the busy street of Session, I went to the Swiss bakery that had some great reviews. I went there around 10AM, but still, the smell of freshly baked bread comes at you the moment you walk in. Since my stomach's starting to growl, I asked the cashier for a piece of strawberry Danish (35php). I left the bakery and started descending the busy street going to Burnham Park. 

I was thinking of looking for a good spot at the park and eat the Danish, but I gave in to temptation and took a bite of what's supposed to be flaky, buttery, aromatic piece of heaven with a pastry cream and strawberry compote in the middle and maaaaaaaan was I disappointed. It was like biting a piece from your ex's heart after your break up. 


Cold. Hard. Hollow.


DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM SOOOOOOOON


So being bummed out by my first stop, I crossed that out from my list. Still being hopeful that one magical meal will turn my day around, I have a feeling that it's just coming real real real soon. I, then, headed to my next destination.

The Ketchup Food Community

        

 


It took me around 20 minutes to arrive from Session to Ketchup Food Community by cab, which is near Wright Park (most of the cab drivers are already familiar with the place. If not, tell them it's near Wright Park).

Basically the compound consists of 5 different establishments:

• Rancho Norte offers both traditional and exotic Filipino food (packed).

• Green Pepper offers gourmet Mediterranean  food (super packed).

• Happy Tummy offers Filipino-Thai favorites (medj packed).

• Canto offers American comfort food (closed).

The fifth restaurant is Rumah Sate which offers Indonesian and Malaysian food. I asked the waiter for their best sellers and he told me that Sate Ponorogo (around 150 php) is a must-try so I ordered that and a glass of milk tea (90 php).

Three skewers of perfectly grilled chicken thigh fillet basted with a sweet soy base sauce served with pickled finger chili and candied dilis. This meal definitely made up for my first purchase. 

The pickled chilies were addictive. I actually had it refilled twice! They were on an unending battle whether they'd be sweet or sour, none of them were backing down. A hint of heat compliments the sweetness of the sauce that was smothered all over the chicken. 

Don't worry if you're not gastronomically adventurous (maarte), this dish is definitely Filipino palate friendly plus the serving is ginormous! If only I had someone to share the meal with....AY PUUUUU

After having that heavenly meal, I was up for a sugar rush so next stop for me was 

Cafe By The Ruins 

 

Upon entering the establishment, you will surely be mesmerized by its interiors which are mostly made of wood and skillfully crafted iron works.

I decided to get a table on the second floor. I know I won't be able to work on the menu because I will be too distracted by the bakers shaping the pandesal on one side and the open kitchen on the other. Since I was too full to even try their mouthwatering pain au chocolat or their irresistible croissant and ensaymada, I ordered the Rizal's tsokolate-e instead.

After having a sip of this cup of happiness, a sudden spread of warmth filled my body; thick and rich concoction of fresh carabao's milk and Davao tablea is perfect for beating Baguio's chill.

Eh kung may kayakap ba naman ako, edi sana goods na.

After downing my cup of hot chocolate, I decided to hit the market and look for the stores where they sell coffee beans.

Being oddly familiar with Baguio's market, I didn't find it hard to locate said stores. 

I bought both a quarter of a kilo of Benguet blend (around 240/kl) and Sagada blend (around 365/kl). You can either buy them as is or have them ground for your convenience. I stayed here for a while since I find the smell of coffee soothing and calming.

                                 

It was starting to get dark and my sweet tooth's already acting up, so off to Hill Station I go.

I asked the waitress for their best seller and she pointed me two of their wide array of pastries and cakes. One is the chocolate lemon tart and the other one which happened to be her go-to dessert also is the Death by Chocolate (around 120 php).

           

The warm half-baked brownie-like pastry topped with a smooth and creamy vanilla ice cream. Every bite gives you pure bliss. Only people who already had this can understand. One bite of the warm, gooey and fudgey chocolate, together with the ice cream will send you to ecstasy.

I was full and somewhat satisfied from my pig out day, so I was thinking of ways on how to spend my last night in the city of pines. Why not have a pint of artisan beer?

Baguio Craft Brewery offers a wide array, and when I say wide array, I mean a lot of different brews to tickle your tastebuds. Since there were too many to choose from, I had a hard time choosing what to order. Good thing the bartenders let you have a taste of the different varieties they have in store.

                      

I ordered a pint of Pugaw (170 php) after tasting almost all of the beer they have (I only missed 2 out of the 14). Yup, you can do that so before my order I was a bit buzzed already. 

The brew that I got, reminds me a little bit of both Stella Artois and Hoegaarden. Crisp, straight forward, not too bitter and a hint of sweetness. Now that's one hell of a beer.

A pub where the bartenders know their beer and knows how to interact with their costumers. A place where you can either drink in peace or meet a new buddy or two! Over all a cozy and warm (not literally, I was freezing) place to end your day on a high note.

12 hours. 5 establishments. 1 happy belly.

My day didn't start off as smoothly as I wanted it to be but a lot of food I had made up for it. So it was still a good day for me and my palate.

For me, Baguio will never lose its charm. I may not visit the Baguio staples where the swarm of tourists flock for a picture with at least a dozen photo bombers. I may not enjoy riding a horse around a poop yard. I may not enjoy riding a bike nor go boating in the middle of a park, with people awkwardly watching you paddle your awfully colored boat, but I'd like to think that it's part of the package.

For once I saw Baguio, the way I wanted it to, and I was not disappointed. Thanks, Baguio. See you soon.

              

                 CHEERS!!!

*I still didn't find my "Tadhana" though, damn it!




Ketchup Food Community
Romulo Dr, Baguio, 2600 Benguet, Philippines

Cafe By The Ruins
25 Shuntug Rd, Baguio, 2600 Benguet, Philippine

Garcia's Pure Coffee 

Hangar Market, 10 A Chucheria Section, Baguio,

Benguet, Philippines

Hill Station

Casa Vallejo, Upper Session Road, Session Road 

Baguio Craft Brewery 
Ben Palispis Hwy, Baguio